whatsa body?

#Feelings are inconvenient. They're loud like fireworks. I don't think everyone has capital letters and bold, vibrational sensations 7,000 times a day in general... but....

Big feelings?

The big ones that are like massive umbrellas, giant vessels that hover like the daunting UFO over the suburban farm of wholesome

like the starving raging river below the rickety failing foot bridge

like the enormous gaping mouth that is so large, the tiny fish believe it's jaw shade is nightfall

Heartbreak. Grief. Sadness. The most uncomfortable and deeply inconsolable feelings of all. You wait every second for a minute of time to pass so that the feeling can pass and even then, the hint of a scent slaps you in the face, pulling you back into the depths.

Today it is soul spasming, deep wound heartbreak and sadness. Who I am and what I am means titrating my true feelings, depending on the company and environment. If i showed my daughter all of my wailing sadness, she would be swallowed by the whale, too.

My cheeks are on fire, my eyes are twitching like a dog shits, and I can’t bring myself to eat.